it's monday. the monday blues are alive and well. at least, for me. this weekend was a series of unfortunate events (personal post later) and tests of my patience and mental toughness. s/o to Mattieologie. the usual on monday is that we get the rushed of subscription emails: sales, blog articles, tabloid bullsh** about the khardashians making another mill off of appropriated cultures (side eye), people flooding your inbox with updates about their own personal successes. it's all a lil' too much. this media-crazed world gives weight to our narcissistic side- it's so easy to get lost in the abyss of someone else's life. someone else's successes. when all we see are snatched waists, perfect manicures and beats, new shoes and cars, tanning on the resort, etc. we begin to compare ourselves. we take a look at our life from the outside in with the others' lives in the back of our mind and we compare. with the comparing begins the self-limiting beliefs:
damn, my hair isn't slayed like hers so i must not be good enough.
her outfits are always on point so i must begin to dress like her to be liked.
he has a crazy cult following, surely i have to be just like him to get the same.
thoughts like these all stem from a place of being insecure of who you are. when we don't live in the moment and secure the lock on our existence in this lifetime, we allow earthly tings to become our gods. trust me, this post isn't to bash anyone who does this because i've been there, honey. i still struggle with it a lot. i'll get on social media networks and look at folks with thousands of followers just to ask myself "why?" and get lost in it. especially on instagram, where i just began to post again and only have 600 or so followers. i'll look at the next girl with 10k and get down on myself and begin the cycle of self-limiting and self-defeating thoughts. but this isn't conducive for growth. this will not allow me to tread further down my own unique path. we tend to lose sight of where we're going when we're caught up in the life of another.
side note: one thing our generation has twisted is that our glo up is not (and should not) be dependent of others. you should be and feel free in the spreading of your wings. don't clip them with the energy of spite. i want my growth to be natural and because it's the cycle of my own coming-to-being. not because it's contrived after comparing myself to another.
this life(time) is special. here, right now, we are all working towards something, towards a goal. and it's easy to become distracted on this scenic route to your own distant utopia. your path is unique in many ways, and it's okay to have to remind yourself of that time and time again. i have to consciously make an effort, and sometimes tell myself to take a seat, not to get caught up in others. i want to use it as motivation instead. but a few things i've learned through my struggle of this are simple to help you remember...
The Uniqueness of Your Path:
1. you're you. not anyone else, for a reason. (i know. too many clichés this morning after your starbucks.) but it's true. take time to really ponder on your own unique qualities and traits and let them stand out. what do people like about you? what attracts them to you? why is your soul so gotdamn magnetic? how'd you get so cool? remember these traits when you find yourself dipping your toes into the abyss of others' lives. you have goals that are your own for a reason. they reflect YOU. so before you submerge yourself in sadness, take a step back and stroke your ego a bit. you're special the way you are- perfectly crafted in this lifetime.
2. your hands craft a different mold. meaning, the uniqueness of each individual allows them to have their own perspective, their own style, their own hue, to add to something. remember this. own it. respect it in others. give thanks for this. your hands craft a mold differently than they would. it doesn't make anyone better or less than, it makes us unique.
3. when you're confident in you, there is no going astray. this i can't say enough. my s.o. had to kind of beat this into my subconscious for me. when you are so confident in yourself and where you are going, when you put that lock onto your own visual utopia of existence, there is nothing that can break you. that self-love and self-confidence will be the most invincible forcefield. i'm telling you. i see it materializing in my own life. sure, there will be days when you come across something and it might get you down for .5 seconds. you MIGHT let it question yourself. you might. but that confidence will have you so ready to clap back. you'll already know what that predatory energy is within your mind and you'll refuse to let it continue. because you know who the fuck you are and what you're meant to do in this realm. dassssit.
4. everyone's path is different. i think we need to stop using time as a weapon against our personal morale. time is nothing. time doesn't exist in this journey to our(higher)selves. sure, we can look back and use time as a tool to measure how far we've come, but stop using it as a weapon against you. because you in this moment is not where you want to be, or you see the next person doing them at a certain point in their life. you need to understand that they worked to get there as well. they put in the effort that you're putting in now. use them as motivation. learn from them. their path is different than yours but we are all beings coexisting on this earth. if we can't learn from one another, why are we even here? our bond keeps the earth in rotation. understand that we are all different but all growing in the same garden. feed one another. don't use time as a weapon in the case of comparing.
5. brush off the earthly gods you worship. we all as a collective have got to stop praising other humans and idolizing them. foot down. no arguments. i think a lot of us get caught up in the hype of another human being, we lose sight of who WE are. our potential energy is then transferred into this other human. and then what are you left with? your self identity is somewhat molded into an advertisement for this other person. you are longer you, but a walking promotion. stop breathing, eating, sleeping someone else and give that energy back to yourself and into your potential energy. become the you you are meant to be.