auditory feel-good hallucinations for self - development & healing.
pride and joy.
when i was 15 i took an internship opportunity at University of Pennsylvania. it was a thick-aired summer and i had time to purge a lot of my adolescence against the Georgian architecture. during my time there i volunteered with my favorite uncle at a LGBTQ youth center after confiding in him that “i think i like women, too.” my first glimpse of identity was not in my own mirror. it was through the existence of my first friend in Philadelphia, a queer Black gender non-conforming, beautiful human named Haneef. their liveliness and tenacity for living showed me to the beauty of fire: to burn boxes. to light up a room. to be a vessel of warmth when most look at you as a destructive force. they taught me that love can be found, created, extracted from any space. they taught me the delicious texture of multiplicity as it pertains to expression and not suppressing the inner beings inside of me crawling to escape. (Haneef’s performance name was Lady SugarRush. she wore a MEAN red lip, hunty!)
Haneef, like many other persons of the LGBTQIA community are not seen. they are not welcomed. they are not viewed as human. but still, they exist in the fullest way they can in a world that refuses to make space for them. “they” are not there. but here. “they” are not removed from “we”. there should be no barrier. to this day i question myself, my identity, my sexuality, my place in this world. it is through the existence (because i am learning to not place “courage” or other words on others who do not carry a privilege but only a willingness to survive) of others that i am able to learn. their stories, their unfair deaths, their plight, their fight for respect - it teaches me, on an empirical level, the importance of empathy and interconnectedness. their protection is becoming an integral part of my mission in this lifetime. PRIDE is an under-utilized word and holds a negative connotation. let us reclaim it to uplift our LGBTQ kin this month & henceforth. they are worthy.
this is a virtual auditory love note. appreciating LGBTQIA folx who have molded and shaped the depth of expression and the understanding of identity & being. who have trailblazed by simply existing.
Assata Shakur once said that “we have nothing to lose but our chains.” in the spirit of growth and transcendence, i am learning that there is much to let go of in order to be free. the highest form of liberation is death - dying can exist in this lifetime tenfold. dying to my old self and making way for revolution. these are some of the tunes that liberate me in this present time.
last year in 2017 i had a strict playlist that i played every.single.day to get me motivated and in the head & heart space of being productive to work towards my goals. it aided me in working to get out of my parents’ home and into Los Angeles on my own. i believe that music is a vehicle for traveling and a channel to broadcast your own desires into the universe. auditory projections of what we truly want. since then i’ve added to the playlist and continue to listen to it as my goal list grows.
i pray you listen & add some color to the outlines of your dreams. <3
i wanted to make a playlist dedicated to the feeling that travels in the back pocket of summer when it reaches its train stop. we've had countless evenings of a dark sun hiding feelings of commitment, but now that the season is changing, where is the standing of our heart?
"Homeostasis refers to the body's need to reach and maintain a certain state of equilibrium. The term is often used to refer to the body's tendency to monitor and maintain internal states such as temperature and energy levels at fairly constant and stable levels."
balance has to be cultivated within. ~
how often do we think about equilibrium on a daily basis? in order to bloom from center there needs to be an axis, a middle sun, that i operate from. for me, this means that i create rituals, routines, and a sacred space that encapsulates the balanced wave i want to ride. regulating our emotions + thoughts to create a stability is vital to evolution. i've learned that our body is our subconscious mind; thus, music to heal. there's freedom in balance.
blooming from center.
one of the divine lessons that i am learning is how to stay in my center. a lot of my growth came inadvertently through loving the 'wrong' men and learning how to become an artist with the pieces of myself left behind. a reminder i tell myself every day, as an over-thinking over-lover, is that i need to stay in my skin.
staying in your skin means
+ operating from center.
+ remembering who you are & not stepping outside of that for anything or anyone.
+ honoring your commitment to self.
+ taking pride in who you are and not just what you have to offer.
+ moving from an aligned space.
for me, this has been about listening to my deepest intuition. hearing out the voice closest to my heart and acting upon its chant. blooming from center and allowing others to enjoy the extensions of self that runneth over, versus being plucked at the root for the sake of being touched. here's to groundedness & making home within ourselves. ~
sundaze\\ is a playlist series dedicated to the culmination of the week. the beginning + the end. the alpha and the omega of lessons, emotions, and experiences. each playlist is themed to curate a mood and induce the sentiment of a gold mine of a lesson. created by olivia jade.